I see you looking all good up there,
reaching for the sky,
all trying to be infinite.
I like the way you flirt with the clouds
like they owe you something
(mmm yeah you a cock-tease, huh mountain).
You make me want to invent a .99 cent app
that lets me lop off the top of your head
to play etch-a-sketch with your vegetation.
You make me want to sing Wander Vogel songs, mountain.
You look like a serious speech
I am afraid to interrupt.
You look like a conversation
I meant to have like eight years ago
(you can be a pain in the ass, mountain).
I see you all smug and splendorous–
trying to make me feel small, mountain
(mmm yeah you a pretentious mountain).
Don’t think I don’t see you curl up into yourself
when no one’s watching.
(you look like sleeping dinosaurs, yo.)
Your summit looks like a halo
shaped like a Frisbee, and I am not catching
what you’re not throwing down.
I like the way you stare down
the measly limits of gravity—
like some kind of punctuation
(yeah you a poetry-junky, mountain).
I want to open an art gallery in your deepest, darkest forest,
and I want to decorate its walls with smart-phones,
their screens all set to pictures of the Himalayas
and of Mt. Everest, and of other more impressive mountains!?
I love the way you let yourself go
(mmm yeah you an eroding mountain).
You make me want to erode too, mountain.
You make me want to stand on your chest until you apologize, mountain.
(Until I prove you wrong.)
*Interrobang: the form of punctuation that marries an exclamation point with a question mark, often used with some combination of mock-surprise and/or rhetorical misunderstanding
(This is not to be confused with what happens when you interrupt someone while they are having sex with you to ask them a question – ‘Why are you having sex with me?’ for instance. Although this usage is perhaps a more phonetically accurate definition of the term).