some resolutions for the end of the world

Remember how much respect you got being responsible? double checking a key there on the coat rack, feeling for some stupid pass-port in your pocket…don’t you remember how much living you did with so many umbrellas under your arm, with so much toothbrush, toothbrush, umbrellas, toothbrush! remember punctuality? never missed a Preview – a deadline – a train. Remember:

dinner for one, always a seat at the movies. so maybe all your shirts were pressed just the way you liked them – oh and so many nuts to smuggle with so many squirrels to feed, don’t forget that bench of yours in the park at Forever o’clock: ‘pardon me’ – you dropped a napkin, a hankerchief, an umbrella, one here one there – they all looked like so many insects at the bottom of a lake to you- umbrellas- like so many droppings of oil on a dirty canvas, like so much ink spilled out of the wrong side of the earth. Oh, and those umbrellas you left behind in so many young women’s arms, and hats! yes, of course! all those hats for those old world gestures you secretly favored. what a good guy you were, the corners of your bed tucked down, staying up late worrying about so many rules, rules, umbrellas and rules!…the poor cat that played with the nuts all night in the other room –stealing those nuts from all those squirrels. and remember worrying, remember your plans- remember grinding your hands over some scuba diver, the instructor with the dreamy tattoos that all said something you couldn’t read – always wet, dancing underwater like they were – but they were something about $ or ‘Fools’ or about not suffering either of them anymore (anyway so what maybe you were busy paying attention to…other things….you were going to get lessons from her – remember – and before you even learned how to swim)?

yeah, don’t do that this year.

jump into more fountains this year when no one is looking
– steal the fish for the girl – which fish,
which girl, it doesn’t matter now. (learn to swim later.)

learn to be miserable without apologizing, learn to eat raw-
not raw food, just raw, the way the gums get bloody
with the right kind of appetite. learn to line bed-
sheets of enemies, ex-lovers with fish when you aren’t

hungry. forget Cafeteria poses, the scuba instructor
with the tattooed hands, so many parks
with their tandem plights and bikes (someone
always pulling someone else’s weight),
squirrels to the nuts, nuts to the squirrels,
none of that matters now. jump in fountains

when everyone is looking, and the girl
is gone. learn to swim, and grab the fish for yourself,
don’t wait for the brine of revenge. marinating is
a drinking man’s jenga tower, for boys with timid
tongues with nothing better to do-
learn to be the kind of asshole not even women
are drawn to. smack your lips
when you swallow. learn to swim
only enough that you don’t have to save
somebody else from drowning.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s