What I Imagine Marriage Would be Like
I. A Terrible Understanding
The French writer Guy de Maupassant used to take his lunch everyday directly underneath the Eiffel Tower. When asked why an author of such renown chose to dine in the midst of such a veritable tourist trap, a place that he himself referred to once as a kind of ‘chamber of horrors,” the French writer Guy de Maupassant responded that his seat underneath that great and once beloved monument to kitsch was the only place in all of Paris that you could not see it from.
II. Clit Lit
When I was in sixth grade, I drew a map of Paris on my underwear. I deliberately wore my pants too low, secretly hoping someone might ask me directions to the Eiffel Tower. Sadly, no one ever did. The evidence quivers in my closet to this very day – no doubt still trembling from the trauma of its non-discovery.
